Hello! Here’s a little story about what can go terribly wrong when you travel. It’s time to leave San cristobal de las casas.
Your cab driver on springs called Guadalupe literally throws your bags in the back of his cab built for hobbits and flys out of town. Occasionally he puts the car in auto pilot so he can throw his head back and take long leisurely sips of his water or to look back at you in the backseat. You know… Just to see if you’re still somewhere back there underneath the suitcase. He flys down the mountain and in no time flat you have arrived at the airport in Tuxtla Gutierrez and prepare for take off.
The plane leaves. The plane stops in Guadalajara at night. Everyone climbs down the rickety stairs with their luggage. You almost knock a woman in high heeled boots off of her stair in front of you. Accidentally. With your bag.
You aren’t sure what you are doing or why but you’ve learned that following the herd and not asking questions is best in these situations.
You go in the airport. You go out of the airport. You go back in. Your luggage is searched. Your boarding pass is magic markered. You go outside. A flock of unruly sheep in the night. Your shepard separates the flock. You’re in the group next to the woman reading the Spanish book on how to have multiple orgasms. I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP! You all board the plane. You are tired. The woman with the book is your seatmate.
You head to Los Angeles. After at least 2-3 hours of flying in a thunderstorm lightening strikes the plane. No really IT DID. Biggest noise you have ever heard. You make the sign of the cross. You aren’t sure how this is going to turn out.
The plane makes it all the way to HERMOSILLA Mexico. It lands. You don’t know why you’re here. You don’t ask. The plane sits on the Tarmac for a loooong time. Finally the pilots says LA is closed due to fog. He wants to fly all the way back to Guadalajara. Huh? Some of the passengers start to complain. They refuse to buckle up and sit down. The FEDERALES come on board. No really. THEY DO! You want them to take out those passengers gangster style, but instead they try reasoning with them. An hour later they’ve been subdued. The plane takes off. That’s when the fun starts.
You wake up with a big thud. Touchdown! Back in G town. More herds more flocks lots of pushing and shoving everyone wants to be at the front of the line winding at top speed through the airport with no one at the helm guiding. The line to nowhere. You wind up at the back with the infirm and feeble. You learned in 2nd grade not to push. The line stops.
You wait in the line ALL. NIGHT. Your arse hurts, your legs quiver, you have to go to the bathroom.
If you wait a couple more hours you MIGHT get in on standby to LA from Mexico City. First though you have to GET to Mexico City. You aren’t there, remember?
A stray sheep with a plan bolts out of line and into a really short little line on another airline. He looks like a nice sheep, not unruly. Not like a pusher. You go over to him and ask him what he just did. He bought a first class ticket on the other airline. You can do the same for a price. They’re the only tickets left and if you buy one you won’t have to spend any more time in the line with the pushers. You decide at this point that you brought the credit card in your purse on your trip for just such an emergency. So you use it!
Now you’re eating chilequiles looking out the window. Waiting for your 2 pm flight to LA. The skies are blue, the sun is getting bright and shiny. You haven’t slept but you don’t care. You aren’t in a line. You’re going home!
The lady with the orgasm book? She’s still in line. The woman with the go go boots? Still in line. You wave to them as you sashay past. They don’t wave back, but you do not care. Not one bit.
Sent from my iPad
What a story… only good for the blogging . Sorry it was so crazy. I ended up having to buy a first class from Venice to Paris- same thing or wait in line and go nowhere for days. Anyway it will be good in your book. Can’t wait to see more journal stuff. Good hing you had your lion badge with you.xxoo
Holy mashed potatoes Batman, that is amazing! Talk about a (hopefully) once in a lifetime adventure!
Holy catfish, what an adventure!!
Your photo of fried eggs was far out! I would have preferred both over easy!
Amazing story! Hope are your sleeping soundly in your own bed as I type this. What a wild end to your adventure!
WOW! The trip back home is unbelievable! As I was reading and laughing, I kept thinking that the end
would say that this was a dream or maybe a New Year’s Eve joke….kin to an April Fool’s joke! But now
I’m realizing it was true and you are lucky to be alive!!! Many people who fly alot have some “stories
from hell” to tell…however, yours is the topper. My sister is a pilot (captain) with a major airlines
and she has many, many stories, including some male chauvinists who don’t want a woman in charge of their
flight. I will be so relieved to hear when you are safe at home with your cat posse!
Thanks so much for all of your story sharing….Happy New Year!
An adventure to the very end! Hope this finds you safely home. Happy New Year, Mary Ann!
Happy New Year!
Sounds a lot like my son’s return trip from Peru in April – took 48 hours to get home. Sleeping on the floor in Lima – no money, no clean water and hot. He was so glad to get back to the cool, grayness of Seattle 🙂 Hope you are sleeping in your little bed of Moss soon <3
It is now midnight where i am ….in another hour or so it will be 2012 for you! your adventures are so full of wit and wonder that i can’t help laughing (just a little). this will certainly be a great story to tell all the little monkeys! it will definitely stimulate their imaginations.
keep smiling! and Happy New Year to you Mary Ann.
OH. MY. GOSH. I don’t beleive it! What a nightmare! Makes for a great story, though. I wish I could send you a cot, or a hug, or a private freaking jet! Sheesh. I hope you return home safely! Happy travels Mary Ann!
UNBELIEVABLE, Mary Ann!!!!! You make it into such an entertaining, funny adventure; we all loved reading about it, but none of us would want to live it!!!! I am so glad you are safely home…..almost???? Sleep in for sure! Leslie
OK, I know you’re going to be tired, no, thoroughly knackered, but Mary Ann, you must make a quick “arrived LA safely” post the minute you’re home. OK? Please?
Wishing you a happy, healthy, fun and prosperous New Year filled with excitement and just a pinch of safety thrown in to keep you alive! No, not wishing. Insisting on it! Happy New Year, Mary Ann!
Mary Ann! I haven’t been here in months, maybe years. Not only do I remember that you are my favorite journal artist and teacher, I realize you are also my favorite story teller! I hope you’re home safe and sound now. Happy New Year, friend. xoxox
I am so sorry to be laughing out loud at your adventures in flying. Praise God for credit cards!
Seems an amazing and pleasantly auspicious way to end the year… You got confronted with what might’ve been insurmountable circumstances but you used your wit and wisdom to prevail. Here’s wishing you a 2012 that is chock full of wit, wisdom and the right lines!
Too, too funny! As I never want to go home after a good vacation, I probably wouldn’t have minded a delay or two but I certainly could do without a lightening strike or standing in line all night!! I hope you are safe and sound at home by now. Happy New Year, Mary Ann!!
What a creative ending for a journal all nighter. YIKES! It is 4:21pm in CA right now, I am hoping you are either safely on the ground in said CA now or at least safe at 35,000 feet. What an ending to a great vacation journey. Whew, Girl, you live dangerously!!
your compadre who switched lines, very smart of you to follow. I used to watch “The Amazing Race”, back when I had a TV, and the really cagy travelers were always finding a flight that left sooner or made fewer stops. I hope you are safely home by now. Your story was indeed harrowing, as well as very funny in the writing!
Happy New Year!
I’m going to risk offending a lot of people here by yelling, at the top of my lungs:
“JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!”
…my nerves are completely wracked and I haven’t even left my chair.
Note to self: bring the bank card with LOTS of room when traveling.
wow. a lot to go through to get back to your craft monkeys and the cat posse! safe trip the rest of the way and Happy New Year!!
Lightening strike? Federales? On the plane/off the plane? Seriously, the worst travel nightmare I’ve EVER heard!! I would have been reduced to a total meltdown.
Hope you’re home, by now, recovering from the trauma!
I arrived home Friday night after long delays in Newark Airport but the flight from Morocco was pretty smooth sailing.
Pictures coming up with field notes. Leave for Oaxaca on Tuesday – Yikes!!
Happy New Year to you! I picture you happily surrounded by the warmth & comforts of Moss cottage & with a martini in hand.
Welcome home!! Thanks for the travel adventure.
xoxo,S
NOW that’s a story to journal! I hope you are home now safe and sound with your posse. Thank you for all the beautiful pictures, that will be a Christmas story to remember.
Now that story should make for some interesting visual journaling — lightening, Federales, go-go boots, multiple orgasms! Vive la Mexico! Glad to hear you are almost safe and sound at home. I have had a few travel adventures but nothing like that. Once I showed up a day early for a flight out of West Yellowstone and kept insisting I was booked, and then got laughed out of the airport when they found out my mistake. When I showed up the next day I got a standing ovation from the airport personnel.
What a journey from hell. And no explanations, even in Spanish? Sheesh. Hope you are home safe and sound now. Well, I guess you could call it an adventure, right?
Aloha, Kate
OMG…SERIOUSLY????? Ok so part of me is laughing and giggling but then there is the part of me as I as reading and wanting to skip to the end of the story cuz my heart was racing not knowing how the story might end (something not so nice) and thinking that your beautiful trip can’t possibly be ending on a sour note, like when you need a vacation from the trip home; goodness, my oh my, I am SO relieved that you made it home safe. If I was you, I’d hug my cat posse, if I had one, run around in circles in my living room; more than happy to be home and then have a tall something frosty; who cares what time it is. YOU ARE HOMe and then sit back and remember each of every detail of the sweet memories of the journey; the best parts that didn’t involve manic cab drivers, storms and being shipped around like wayward cargo, rather than an innocent human being. And my favorite part of the story was how you broke from the pack and left miss multiple o and miss boots in a trail of dust. You go girl!!!!
Oh my dear courageous heart! (I feel like I know you by now so I can say that). Anyway…what I want to know is…did you learn any new ways to have multiple orgasms. Do tell.
What a story!!! I’m so glad you got out of that line of pushers, bought that first class ticket and made your way home safely. Although you were surrounded by quite the cast of characters… additional details about them would have been fun to read as well. I guess I could make up a few stories myself, couldn’t I???
Again, I’m glad you are home safe and sound. Belly full. Bags in hand. Moss Cottage intact… I assume.
Thanks for all the posts and photos from that wonderful city you discovered in Mexico. So beautiful.
Happy new year to you.
Pretty much exactly why I don’t past Robertson Blvd! Indoor kitty–me.
Safe travels with Grace, Mary Ann. Happy New Year!
Gosh gosh gosh gosh and more cuddles! What a ride. I think you should start a new class so I can spend some more time with you bubbly.
SO glad you are safe Mary Ann!
OMG, Mary Ann, all I can say is there is a reason that God invented plastic, right?
Glad you are finally home! Classic example of why you should NEVER max out your credit card while on holidays. You just may need to use it to get home.
OMG! What a riot of a story. Glad you and your handy dandy credit card made a quick getaway, and hope you are home by now.
Travel safe Mary Ann….LA will look good when you get there….and I can relate to the story..when you travel these things happen but it keeps life interesting.
Oh. My. God. What a tale! Hope you’re home by now — 11:18 Saturday morning, L.A. time. xo
p.s. Happy New Year!
oh mary anne, i love how you weave your words and stories and images. i can just see it all happening in my minds eye. so glad you followed the ‘nice unruly non-pushing sheep’, to the line that would take you home. and to the folks in the line to nowhere, ha ha. lol.
Well, you are the lady who lives for adventure. Right? Glad you had that credit card and hope you get home safe and sound.
Oh, I hope all is resolved now; what a trial. Really, it’s all I can do to face air travel and this trip you just had is a good example of why. Add in the sleep deprivation and you have a scene of horror, ack, I’m freaking myself out. Loved your upside down and sideways pictures. Although the eggs looked like boobs. I’d better sign this anonymous.
Brought back a nightmare of a trip I spend with a new travel mate ~ our first trip together~~ where the first incident set of a series, one after another that lasted for 5 days without luggage, warm clothes, contact solution, well, without anything but the clothes on our back in snow storms for 5 days as we traveled on the Danube. The woman with the book is the topper. It’s only a funny story with time and distance.
You are awesome!
Brave and resourceful ~
Here’ to multi~O’s without a book!
Ohhhh, what an adventure – er, misadventure? I hope you are now home safe and sound and sipping on a cocktail surrounded by much purring.
oh my! well, i guess there had to be a grand adventure somewhere in this trip of ours. i once had a bad trip to maui. not as bad as yours, but almost more than i could handle. i’m sure you are home by now, tucked up in cozy moss cottage with the cats. relax and enjoy before you have to go back to the 2nd grade craft monkeys.
my favorite post of the entire trip. After traveling throughout Brazil over the past 10 years I had absolutely no problem picturing the entire scene in my mind from the pushing people, the long never ending line, to the crazy delays…not one photographs needed. -paula
This is why international air travel (or really any kind of air travel) and I are not BFFs. I don’t do well in pushy crowds. I get cranky and irritable mucho quicko and then it’s not fun for anyone. Shame on me, I know, but it’s the way I’m built. And if I’m lacking sleep , it gets worse.
I’m so glad you’re not me and that you had a wonderful vacation followed by a bit of drama just to make it all the more memorable. Good for you that you didn’t beat anyone with your handbag like I would have. Hope you’re home by now.
oohhhh… That is so not nice. I hope you will soon be home, and can rest and be silent and remember the nice moments in Mexico… I will wish you a good flight home!
How to have Multiple Flights!
Wishing you Home-very-soon,
and may your seeing-with-humour prevail always!
xxx
Well, if you were here you would not be proud. I am rolling on the floor laughing out loud. It’s your writing not the situation. You have my sympathy, your writing has my hee haaaas! It brought back memories of ‘old Mexico’ when there was no seat assignment on large aircraft. Planes were late. When doors opened to board there was no one taking boarding passes (there were no boarding passes!), no leader, no airport personnel in sight … it was mayhem. Crowds bolted, ran and were trampled in the panic to get what … a seat? I was prepared to sit on the wing … how bad could it be. You have my sympathy, and you have my black sense of humour, which includes the uproarious laughter thing. Your post was WONDERFUL. Now rest! And dream up one of those famous cocktails … it will be the best medicine. Donna
The upside down eggs cracked me up! (Pun intended.) Well the upside is that you had this story to tell. The last day of 2011 will be remembered now.
Safe flight and Happy New Year! Bonne Annee Mary Ann! xox
…and THAT is worth a first class ticket!!
Oh my, that is one adventure none of us had planned on, isn’t it?? Thank goodness you are okay after that lightning strike on the plane, I’m not sure I would be! Very thick fog here in Toronto too, is it foggy all over North America today or what?! Will be thinking of you, sending good thoughts for safe and easy travels from now until you are home tucked in with the cat posse, toasting the New Year. Cheers!
Yikes. Lightning striking the airplane? That sounds scary. Seriously scary. Really glad all is well and that LAX is cooperating!
So I know it’s not polite to laugh at other peoples misfortune but I gotta say this travel story is HILARIOUS. And all of us little monkeys will be relieved when we know you are home safely!
Good grief! What a nightmare! But Mary Ann – the courageous, the invincible – will prevail. Mary Ann – the person who’s going to take a very big nap when she finally gets home. Godspeed!
OMG Adventure piled on adventure! On the other hand — what an amazing story you now have that you will laugh about later (really, you will… after you sleep a few days!) Here’s hoping you get home safe and sound for the New Year!!
wow what an ending to your Mexico adventure. Prospero Ano Nuevo
The joys of air travel… It IS foggy here in LA… SCARY foggy. Safe travels!
Yikes!!! I hope you post as soon as you can when you get home so we know you are safe and sound…….ruth.
LOL! I remember when I went to San Miguel, we had to unload in the middle of night. I had absolutely NO idea what was going on. I felt like a sheep who didnt want to separate from the herd. My spanish is minimal and certainly not good enough to say where the heck am I and what are we doing here?????
Thank goodness for chilequiles! I think they (and in this case your credit card) solve all problems.
Safe journey home! I hope you dont have any more stories to tell. 😀