My sister sent me this email. And I did what anyone would do. I copied it in its entirety and reposted it to my blog. Without her permission. Or her husband's permission. Or even her cat's permission. I was going to cut & paste my cat's pictures over her cat's pictures and resend the whole thing to all of MY friends. But you've been reading this blog long enough to know that my fine moral character wouldn't stand for such hijinx. I thought about it though.
Ho Ho Ho!
I am only sending this Holiday e-mail out to you because your Christmas card might have gotten wet when it was dropped in a snow drift when it fell out of my purse as I was endeavoring not to let my mother fall and break her hip during the struggle up the icy steps on Christmas Eve while a stinging sleet blew into our faces and took our breath away.
I picked up the cards and attempted delivery once again on Christmas morning when I ventured out of the house to take my mother back home through the 6 foot high drifts that had accumulated overnight. I was not daunted by the fact that the streets had not been plowed. Nor did I let the stuck cars along the route stop me from my mission. However, the mailbox that I planned to drop the cards in had been slammed by a city snow removal truck and once again I was foiled in my attempts to send holiday greetings.
After Mom was delivered safely to her apartment I headed for home. While I was gone the lawn and snow removal guy had roused himself from a long winters nap and gotten the driveway cleared. Some of you may know that I sometimes have trouble making it up our driveway in inclement weather.
After I dried off and warmed up I set out to make a suitable holiday dessert for the X family dinner that was to occur that night. While attempting to flip out the sponge cake that was to become the pumpkin roll I heard a loud crash. Lewis and Clark while playing a game of "Pull the Nose off Rudolph" had knocked my glass of wine over onto the pile of already soggy cards. I settled my nerves with a test slice of the pumpkin roll.
At that point I decided the holiday cards had been cursed in some way and I opened the back door and threw them out onto the deck. They were picked up by a flock of carrier pigeons that happened to be on their way to a family reunion. So, it could be that a card will make it's way to you at some unknown time in the future. But it does seem highly unlikely. For that reason I send you electronic holiday greetings. It just seems safer somehow.
Happy New Year!