Stop what you’re doing right this second and go get your bullhorn out of the car, or garage, or trunk, or wherever it is you keep it! Your going to need it when you see what I got in the mail today. What? Of course I’m not exaggerating. You’ll see. In about 90 seconds you will be cursing worse than Luther and I at that Cussing Championship I told you about a while back. You may recall I won the trophy. So you can imagine the mighty stream of bad words coming out of my dainty pink mouth and piercing the ears of the cat posse around 4:15 this afternoon.
I mean come on…is this one big fat breath stopping bunch of excitement or what? OR WHAT? huh? Say 3 curse words right now into your bullhorn. The worst ones you can think of. Look what Patty Van Dorin sent me!
My sister will be delirious to know that half of this great big bootyliscious package was intended for her. I am getting out my scales right now. Everything will be divvied up to the ounce in a fair and balanced manner. I mean, to the best of my ability it will. If a few extra ounces land on my pile it would be through no mal intent on my part. It would be an Accident. Accidents happen everyday.
Don’t put the bullhorn away just yet. As I reached past the bundle above I happened upon an old envelope that looked as though it had been put into the mouth of the Pony Express back in 1941. I looked around thinking someone had played a trick on me. That’s just how my mind works. Tricks, pranks, accidents. You know, just your normal everyday mind clutter. I didn’t see anything suspicious. That’s when I looked down and noticed something odd. The address was on the back and the stamps were on the front. Hmmmmm….Was Nick Bantock trying out some new postal romance on me? Was this the start of an entirely new Griffin & Sabine saga with me starring as Sabine?
NO. It was my new Ebay stencils from the auction I won 3 weeks ago and forgot about. Total cost for this baby including postage? Less than $8.00 All the way from INDIA! And………..the nice person who sent them didn’t ignore my request for the front page from the local newspaper. Do you know how many of my Ebay purchases must think I’m kidding about that? All of them. How cool is that? The sweetheart from around the world was kind enough to honor my strange request. Look at this lovely lovely type from the newspaper. I am very touched. You better believe every last piece of that paper will be finding its way into my journal. She also sent me some complimentary Bindi for my forehead. I’m wearing one to school tomorrow. Yes I am.
As for the stencils, they will be coming to a visual journal page near you very soon.
Here is what my visual journal looked like on Sunday. Now see what it looked like on Monday. I know what you’re thinking. Why did she cover up all those stencils? This is just par for the course with me. My brain works in layers. I like subterfuge, hidden things, and all those dark crevices of the mind. Subconciously my pages reflect this. I didn’t do it on purpose that’s just how it worked out. After the tornado that spun through my head had moved on this is what was left. I too was left wondering where the stencils went. I know there’s medication for this, and if I weren’t so fascinated by all of my own mental disorders so much I’d take it. I really would.
Now as if that weren’t enough pure joy for one day, I went down to water the garden and my nice neighbor hollered over to me and asked if I wanted any of this big bowl of YUM. It’s so impolite to turn down offers of dinner so I eagerly accepted. Say 3 more curse words in a row. Don’t hold back.
I couldn’t end this post without this special page for Robin who I heard crying out for help from the comments section. Shhhh…if you’re real quiet you can hear her too. See. Some people do appreciate a little emergency preparedness. Of course I hope she’s not dead by the time she reads this. I would have emailed it directly to her, but I was too darn busy with this book length blog post.