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MARY ANN MOSS

a lullaby

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lots of thoughts in my head about mama moss this weekend.  she's fading fast.  i'll be heading out to see her next weekend.  i don't believe in an afterlife, but i do believe in the power of the imagination to light the way in dark times.  you better believe i am using it right now!   i also go outside before bed and notice the stars & moon.  i throw my head back and scan the sky.  lately it is clear and up here in northeast los angeles the light pollution isn't too bad.    there's a vast cushion of velvety blackness out there that feels like a lullaby.  afterwards i climb into bed and leave my curtain open.  i like the silver spotlight the moon makes on my bed as it arcs through the sky.  even if i don't wake up to see it, i know it's there.

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Comments

  1. Oh my heart aches for you. Such a hard thing to say goodbye but also such a gift. I got to say goodbye to my Daddy but not to my Mom and I wish so much that I could have gotten the chance.

  2. This is such a hard time in our lives as children. Are parents continue on their journey and leave us behind. It is so hard and has so many twists and turns. My heart goes out to both you and your Mom . She will always be with you! Big Hugs!
    Elizabeth

  3. I am thinking of you as you head into this weekend. A difficult weekend. I remember my own weekend like yours. Wish I could hold your hand. Peace be with you and your family. Know how much joy you have given to so many. It will come back to you.

  4. I have nothing new to say, but wanted to add my voice to all that have come before. The best thing to do is to just go now, as you are doing. Support and love each other. Laugh and cry a little together. Take you journal and write down some funny things. That is one thing I wish I had done.
    No matter how prepared we think we are for this inevitablilty, we are never ready. Take good care.
    Cynthia

  5. MAM, I lost my mom 3 months ago. I somehow thought that the inevitable death of a parent when one is an adult would make it easier. It does not. I would not wish it on my worst enemy, yet it happens to us all. I’m told that time will help replace the sorrow with loving memories. I have to believe that it is true. You must believe it, too. A friend left a poem for me on FB today when my status update said “I’m missing my mom a lot today.” The last part rang so true with me that I would like to share it with you now. “She was your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space… Not even death.” Long tear filled hugs to you, your sisters and the entire Moss family. Lori

  6. MaryAnn, my mom died this past July after a 17 year fight with dementia. We told her our Dad was holding a glass of chardonnay for her and that he finally learned how to dance…..and she’s going to be his first partner. Travel safely and my thoughts are with you, your sisters and brother and extended family. Holly

  8. My mom had a dream about her parents waiting for her. when she awoke she said, “They’re going to have a party for me!” Wishing you and your family peace and love.

  9. With such a sad time when you all get together….try to remember the happy times
    you had with Mama Moss. If possible, make it a party of celebration of her life. May it bring some peace to each of you.
    Hugs to you, MaryAnn.

  10. It’s good that you’ll get to see her soon. I lost my mom just this past October and I can tell you there are so many blessings wrapped up in the loss that sometimes it makes your head spin…but the blessings are there. Wishing you peace.

  11. A lullaby, very fitting. Love to you, Angie, and all your family. May it be a wonderful journey for you and how lovely to be able to see your sweet momma before she departs.

  12. I am so sorry to hear that Mama Moss is slipping away so quickly. No matter how much we prepare for a loved one’s passing, we are never really ready. Much love and many prayers go out to Mama Moss, you and Carol and all of your family. Safe.journey, Mary Ann.

  13. Mary Ann,
    You, Carol, Dottie and Ray have given Mama Moss the greatest gift of time. It is precious. Wishing you all continued strength and the comfort of one another.
    Hugs,
    Roxee

  15. Thinking of you on this day, the day before the 5th anniversary of my Dad’s passing, a month after the 11th anniversary of my mom’s passing. <3

  16. I cannot imagine how difficult this journey will be for you and your family, I don’t believe this is all there is, I don’t know exactly what I do believe but I know that lights that shine so brightly in this world cannot be extinguished by death.
    Love, and peace to you xxxx

  17. So sorry to hear about Angie. Thanks for sharing her wonderfulness with us. Your posts about her always put a smile on my face and reminded me of my own mother who passed away in 2001. Safe travels, this fluffy bunny will be thinking of you.

  18. Oh my goodness, what wonderful messages others have written above, I hope they bring you some comfort at this difficult time. I humbly add my own best wishes and warm thoughts for you and your siblings for the strength you will need as you say a final goodbye to dear Angie. It is not an easy thing to do but sadly, a necessary one. I love the idea that her loved ones who have gone before are happily waiting for her to join them to get the party started, I do hope it is true!

  19. Safe travels and lots of love during this time of transition. If its true that we are all made from the same stuff as stars then Mama Moss will always be as close to you as the night sky, twinkling in your window from where ever she goes. What a lucky lady to have you all close by.

  20. Dear Mary Ann, I am thinking of you and your family and saying prayers for peace in all your hearts. God Bless Mama Moss. She certainly will continue to touch others through her children. Your mom has been blessed to have you all caring for her.

  21. I am working on using the power of my imagination for good. Balloons and streamers and hush puppies sound perfect to me. Given that we have no choice about “whether” — imagining an excellent outcome is a brilliant plan.
    I’m sending a handful of bright balloons, tied with curly ribbon, and a big ziplock bag full of twist ties.
    Wishing all of you as much peace as possible as you face this enormous change.

  22. What can I say? These are hard times for you and your family. Sending you love and support and I know you find comfort in each other. Hope your time with your mother this weekend brings some peace of mind. Hugs from across the Atlantic.

  24. It crushes the human heart but never the soul. Enjoy her this weekend. Her nails, her eyelashes, the feel of the skin on the backs of her hands. Look into her eyes and just smile into her soul. Your family is strong and full of love. You will be great pillars of strength to each other in the months to come.
    Holding good thoughts for all of you.
    Peace~
    Dawn

  26. Hugs to all of you as you go through this together. I have already been there; my heart goes out to you in sympathy.

  28. I am a few days behind, Mary Ann. So Sorry to hear that Angie is getting ready to leave this earth and her loving family. I will be thinking of you all, and wishing you, Carol, Dottie, your brother, and Angie…..peace.( I know I haven’t included everyone here in my wish for peace for you all. Of course, I wish that for all who love Angie. ).

  33. My eyes filled with tears of compassion for your and your blessed siblings, MaryAnn, as I read this news.
    Prayers for safety for your trip to Kansas to your beloved mom.
    Prayers for strength for you and your family as you whisper your good-byes.
    And prayers for your Moma Moss, as she prepares for her final journey.
    “Those on the opposite shore await her…” . Someone quoted that to me as I was losing my own mother.
    I hold them close to my heart
    as I , too look at the moon, thinking of you all.
    Peace…and peace again.
    ~sass

  35. I am so, so sorry to hear this. You girls are such a tight family. Mama Moss will be so proud of all of you as you fly to her side. It is an unbearable journey, but somehow we all travel it together. Love to you all.

  38. Traveling mercies to you, Mary Ann, as you make your way to Kansas to see your mom. Blessings and peace be with you and your sisters and your mom as she nears the end of her life journey. You will be in many people’s thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks to come, all of you.

  40. Dear Mary Ann, Carol and Dottie,
    Peace be with you on this journey. It is so very sad and so very hard. But having embarked on it myself several times, I must say – it is also a treasure and a blessing and a rightness somehow. Not that we want them to leave; every day after is going to be a challenge. But because this is the circle of life and the journey for her continues.
    Hugs all around. Via con Dios, Angie.

  41. And we all look up in wonder at the same moon… The same moon over Kansas as over Los Angeles. The same moon for me over Texas and over Idaho. Mary Ann, I am so sad for all of you. Still so sad for having said goodbye to my own Dear Daddy only a month ago. But the happy times remain in our memories. Your family has been so wonderfully there for Angie, and shared her so beautifully with all your readers. Love to all of you.

  42. I love, love your imagination. My mother’s party started in 2006 and is still in full swing; she is laughing with pure joy as she dances to a mariachi band, and someone else has done the cooking for a change.
    No matter who we are or where we are, the moon and stars are the constant that we share. I’ll be thinking of you tonight in the starlight. Safe journey.

  45. Dear Mary Ann,
    Losing Mama Moss has to be so hard in so many ways: I know you have been missing her already as she has slipped away bit by bit. I am glad for you that you will have a chance to say good-bye and hug her at least once more though. Having come to know about you and your family through all of your writing and art I can see that you and your sisters have taken all your opportunities to be present with her often so I am hoping this will minimize any regrets… Go and be present once more and we (all those who love you whether we’ve met you in person or not)will be here watching the moon and thinking loving thoughts for you all… Thank you for sharing your life with us…

  46. Bless the road that carries mama moss and bless the family that sees her off.thoughts of heartful strength are winging their way and will accompany you as you and the mosses go through this difficult time. Blessings.

  51. So very sad to hear the great farewell is approaching – my heart is even more full as my own mother is frail and mentally declining, and I know this day will come for us too before very long. God bless and keep you all.

  52. Your musings and art are a bright spot in my day. I’m a teacher, also. Art K-5. I am often stressed out when I come home and there is your latest post. Thank you so much!! And I’ll be sending out good thoughts to you and your mother….hang in.

  53. I don’t have words, but my heart is full of love, wishes for strength and peace for the Moss girls and Mama Moss.

  55. I am saddened to read about Angie’s condition. I’ll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

  57. Keeping you, Carol, and all of your loved ones in my thoughts and when I see the moon tonight I’ll wave to you. I will keep a light burning for you all and dear, sweet Angie. Every moment is precious and to be treasured and that is something I know that you do well. xoxo

  58. Thank you for letting me experience the Moss family through your and Carol’s blogs for several years. For all who have done so, we have met a very special mama with children who love her dearly. I recall reading the posts about you and Carol sharing your love of art journaling with Angie, and it stirred up all kinds of wonderful memories I have of times spent with my mom, before she passed away several years ago. I know you will treasure the special times with your mama for many, many years. I am saddened to read today’s post, but again think of what a lucky lady Mama Moss is. When the time is right, she will be a star in the night sky, looking back at you, MaryAnn.

  60. thanks for sharing your pain too, next to all the lovely posts you treat us with. saying goodbye to mum; it’s so difficult ; i just went through all that but i came too late from France to holland…but please don’t stop creating; it’s the only way to get to terms with sadness and loss…..

  61. This is a very sad time for the Moss family I’m sure. Wishing your sweet Momma Moss a smooth passage. You’ve given her all the love in this world. I’m glad you’re going home to see her. This is never easy. Sending lots of hugs to the Moss sibs.

  62. Sorry for the double post, but I just read the bottom of your journal page. Omigosh, will there be a party, and I suspect my mom will be heading it up. Oh, she loved to party. Just imagine the two of ’em sitting there in the sun, those knowing smiles they get, talking about their daughters. Oh, the stories they will tell!

  64. My thoughts are ever with you and your family. I feel like they are my extended family–your words paint them so vividly. I have been where you are–there are no words to describe that empty feeling. I am glad you are going home for a while.

  66. Mary Ann you know I am always lurking, reading and devouring everything you and your sister share – even tho I do not comment often. You have opened up to me worlds that I had only heard about. Especially endearing has been your stories about Mamma Moss and the Moss family. I just feel like sending you hugs and love and letting you know I am thinking of you. And to thank you for a beautiful, moving post.

  67. ive read yours and carol’s updates and talked to my dad and emailed with dottie. i dont have many words (this never happens) for what’s going on right now except that it leaves me sad. like i told dottie the other night, as long as she’s happy and pain free im ok with the inevitable. and no doubt she’ll have a welcoming party on the other side. moxie will be doing a jig and grandpa can have her gardening beds ready.

  68. I’m so sorry to hear (read) this. Tears sprang to my eyes. Though I am not very close to my parents I know I will never be ready to say goodbye, as, I imagine, you aren’t. Thinking of you as you tread this rough terrain.

  69. So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing out of this life. Yet we all know that is where we are headed. May not know the date but the inevitability is kind of sobering. Reminds us to be present now and really live our lives to the fullest. So glad that you get one more visit with her to say goodbye. We don’t know how to say goodbye well in this country. I like “aloha oe”.
    Aloha, Kate

  73. Sending thoughts of strength and peace your way. Safe travels to you.
    And safe travels to Mama Moss as she heads out into the Universe.
    XOXO

  76. How wonderful that you are able to go out for another visit and to give her permission to depart. It will be sweet.
    Gandalf says it well: “I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” You are indeed blessed

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