“what have i seen? where have i been? something has spoken to the very soul of me, wonderful, mighty, not of this world. something has called out of somewhere. something in me is trying to answer. it is surging through my whole being, the wonder of it all, like a great river rushing on, dark and turbulent, and rushing and irresistible, carrying me away on its wild swirl like a helpless little bundle of wreckage. where, where?”
from hundreds & thousands – the journals of emily carr
out for a walk this morning in the autumnal paradise that is descanso gardens, with its chrysanthemums the size of saucers, its california buckeye trees heavy with horse chesnuts. squirrels feasting on pumpkins. i fell into the most pleasant trance as i walked under the sun dappled tree canopy.
at night i’m escaping into the landscapes of my books. martha’s vineyard with its snowy woods in winter. the pacific northwest with its deep forests and dark hemlock, cedars, fir.
restless restless. i’m being pulled north, but i cannot go. too tethered to work life. but how i wish i were driving along some winding dark road in british columbia. tall trees rising up on either side of the road. a small strip of midnight sky and a swath of starlight. driving, just driving.